Tonight as I read the news and discuss current events with friends, some of whom are survivors of sexual assault, I keep reviewing in my mind the interviews and stories I collected while working on the book, as well as the off the record conversations I had with survivors who supported the book, but weren't ready to share their story.
All of these stories that I heard were different, all the people were different, but one word I heard from many of them was "shattered". Not all of them, but enough that it became a recognizable theme.
One morning I woke up to an email from a survivor with a poem of that title. The poem is rather long, and it does appear in the book, but to briefly sum it up, she described her healing process as going from shattered to creating something new with the pieces: a stain glass window. I love that image.
I'm not a psychologist, I'm a writer. But a clear pattern began to emerge from the stories I heard, and from the psychology research I read: recovery is possible. Healing won't return you to how you were before, but from the pieces, something beautiful can emerge.
Sometimes from the news, there seems to be no hope, no justice. When I started working on this book, I felt that criminal prosecution was the most important thing for a victim after an assault. The year spent researching and talking to survivors and those who work with them changed my world view. Self-care and healing are more important, finding support and acceptance are more important, discovering how to reshape the pieces into a new and brilliant whole...these are all more important.
You can recover. No, your life will not be the same. Many of the survivors I've talked to who are far along in their recovery don't want their lives to be the same. You don't have to recover today, or even tomorrow. It will take time...give yourself time. Stain glass windows are masterpieces that take a long time to create. There is support and help available for you.
One great resource is your local sexual assault crisis center or sexual assault service provider. You can look up a center near you at https://centers.rainn.org/
To take a look inside or to purchase "Sexual Assault: The Ultimate Teen Guide": https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Assault-Ultimate-Guide-Happened/dp/1442252472/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1472866360&sr=8-3&keywords=teen+sexual+assault
